Acting Journal Entry 1

I've come to a realization about this blog. My initial intent was to bring value to others, to share what I have learned or who I am in a way that will entertain and give back what I have taken. Now, that has come out jumbled and sloppy in parts. To try and provide you with better value, I will make my blogs more concise (more to the point, shorter, or otherwise) and readable. I find that some material that interests me, and that I write about, is more for my value - with the value to others following as a consequence to that. That is not a healthy model for mutual growth. In my orientation towards ends (such as financial ends), I have focused too much on the results (money and abundance) and lost sight of the meaningful process. I am still developing as is my blog.

I will live my life entirely in the present moment, so to put my mind ahead of Now is to essentially not live.

Now, why I really came here. My first journal entry for my acting course:

September 2, 2008

Today was my first acting class. First day, anyhow. This is some fun stuff: for warm-up our massive class walked around like a random school of fish swimming through a coral reef - slightly rushed and disorganized. Beautiful. I've found my place.

Adriana (my instructor) had us imagine that we were walking barefoot in the sand. Suddenly, the water crept up to our toes and underneath our feet. Cool. I could begin to feel the tingles and movement of it already. Just when we thought it was safe and sunny, the water morphed to honey. Honey to thicker honey. Soon, I couldn't even move my leg to get it out of the honey. One yank and I was sprawled on my back - stuck to the sticky ground like gum to a shoe. The fall was fast; the ground was sweet; the freedom short-lived.

Later, when we were plenty warmed-up, we played the number game. Another first for me ; glad it won't be the last. The number game involves working with a group to reach a specified count. For example, five people form a circle and begin counting one at a time to reach twenty. However, each time there is a fumble with number order or if two people say the same number the game restarts. This can be a challenging and rewarding activity: challenging to reach silent communication with the ensemble, rewarding to reach a level of open, flowing understanding. Although the open, flow of understanding and instinct can be temporary, it is far too valuable an experience to not strive for.

It's important to keep your channels open because the number game demands your cooperation to flow two ways. Outgoing energy is as key as in-going. How clearly and unbiased you can project your intent and number into the circle heavily effects what returns to you from your group. Moreover, it is equally fundamental to try and listen with as clean a slate as possible. To be as transparent as glass, as blank as snow. It takes much discipline to find the balance between the instinctual action/inaction that one is accustomed to and the conscious decision to become still and receptive. It's more than finding one's place. It's developing from that place or using it as a springboard to move in another direction. Ultimately, you decide what fits and what's forced.